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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Going viral on WeChat:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Spotted on Twitch:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Just shared via Reddit:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Breaking via Threads:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that being awake could come with perks? 💤💸 Time to cash in on those sleepless nights! 😂💰 #CompensationForInsomniacs"

awake, awareness, compensation, entitlement, humor, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

1 month ago

calm, ever, humor, irony, mental, mental state, paradox, state, stress
Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

1 month ago

adult, adult theme, back, back pain, bad, bad knee, bed, early, early bed, excitement, going, interest, interest rate, knee, knees, movie, pain, rate, rates, theme, warning
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

2 months ago

40s, age, aging, believe, disbelief, guess, humor, life, life stage, old, second, second guess, stage, welcome
My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

1 month ago

commitment, ex, food, giant, humor, i, issues, jar, joke, Nutella, relationship
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

1 month ago

card, frustration, gift, gift card, give, humor, left, limits, metaphor, much, patience, sure, try, uncertainty
Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

1 month ago

bowl, bowling, comedy, football, humor, irony, question, sports, super, Super Bowl, why

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Making waves on Slack:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Trending via Telegram:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Live now on WhatsApp:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

No plans and no pants kind of day.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

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Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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