Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

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Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

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I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

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Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

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Wake me when AI does housework.

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Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

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In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

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A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

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The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

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Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

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Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.