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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Going bananas on Threads:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Just shared via Discord:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

2 months ago

0

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍋🤣 "When life gives you lemons, don't just make lemonade – be the lemon! 🍋😄 Show the world that you're zesty, tangy, and ready to add a little zest to their day. Who knew being a lemon could be so empowering? 😉🍋 #SourPower"

hand, humor, inspiration, lemon, others, positivity, want, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

0

2 months ago

1, activity, beach, enjoying, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, getting, going, humor, preparation, ready
This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

0

2 months ago

casual, casual language, humor, language, media, motivation, post, procrastination, social, social media
Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, forward, hours, humor, irony, looking, looking forward, night, sleep, tonight, trying
You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

0

2 months ago

aardvark, animals, anteater, early, Friday, funny observation, humor, naming, observation, tell, week
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

0

2 months ago

activity, computer, dating, fine, humor, irony, relationship, technology
My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal care, bear, better, care, diarrhea, getting, health, humor, me, problems, vet, woods, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

12 shares on X this month:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

34 shares on X this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Breaking via Messenger:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Breaking via Threads:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Going viral on Instagram:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Breaking via Facebook:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Breaking via TikTok:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

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