Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on WhatsApp:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Freshly posted on X:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Making waves on WeChat:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Reported on Pinterest:

β€œThis would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Just landed via WeChat:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Be the reason someone burns sage.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Be the reason someone burns sage, not bridges! πŸ”₯✨ Spread good vibes, not drama! πŸŒΏπŸ˜„ #PositivityIsContagious"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🀝

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

They’re releasing another β€œJurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on X:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Seen just now on Slack:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Shared recently on X:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Spotted on Facebook:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Just shared via Reddit:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Making waves on Discord:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Share Wordgag πŸ™

Β© 2025. All fights retarded. πŸ€ͺ

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄