Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.
  • If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?
  • Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.
  • I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.
  • My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.
  • I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.