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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

4,006

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Live now on Telegram:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Freshly posted on X:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Just landed via Discord:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

3 weeks ago

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

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Commentary:
Oh, to live the carefree life of a girl, where tears flow like a never-ending river and the art of multitasking texting multiple guys is a well-practiced skill. 🙄💅 Maybe we should all take a page out of this playbook and make life a little more dramatic and chaotic! 😂 #GirlPower

cry, day, easy, girl, guy, humor, relationship, stereotype, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,984

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Making waves on Instagram:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Going viral on Slack:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Making waves on YouTube:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Breaking via Threads:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Breaking via TikTok:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Seen just now on X:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

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