Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Spotted on Messenger:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Going viral on YouTube:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Trending via Discord:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Trending via TikTok:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

2 months ago

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, to live the carefree life of a girl, where tears flow like a never-ending river and the art of multitasking texting multiple guys is a well-practiced skill. 🙄💅 Maybe we should all take a page out of this playbook and make life a little more dramatic and chaotic! 😂 #GirlPower

cry, day, easy, girl, guy, humor, relationship, stereotype, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

5 months ago

activity, gardening, hobby, leisure, leisure activity, plant, plants, watering
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

5 months ago

bullet, chuck, Chuck Norris, condition, critical, critical condition, got, guy, humor, joke, norris, shot, tough, tough guy
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

2 months ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign
She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

2 months ago

ancient, curse, desire, flowers, gift, humor, joke, relationship, want, wants, witchcraft
Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

2 months ago

age, drinking, feeling, going, half, hangover, humor, math, middle-aged, morning, next, party, twice, waking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather lose you than the argument.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Going viral on Slack:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Just shared via Slack:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Shared recently on X:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Trending via Instagram:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

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