Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, to live the carefree life of a girl, where tears flow like a never-ending river and the art of multitasking texting multiple guys is a well-practiced skill. 🙄💅 Maybe we should all take a page out of this playbook and make life a little more dramatic and chaotic! 😂 #GirlPower

cry, day, easy, girl, guy, humor, relationship, stereotype, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

1 month ago

absurdity, am, big, dropped, every, head, humor, husband, i, keys, piano, post, Reddit, relationship, teeth, wrong
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

2 months ago

advice, dating, humor, keep, loyal, loyal woman, man, relationship, reply, trying, woman, women
I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

1 month ago

AI, care, desperation, humor, i, immigrant, job, me, need, relief, sarcasm, someone, take, work
Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

2 months ago

dating, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, someone, stripper, Twitter
My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

4 weeks ago

care, humor, multitasking, nail, nail care, nails, self-care, session, should, talking, therapist, therapy, therapy session, while
Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

1 month ago

40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Just landed via Reddit:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Making waves on Slack:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Wolves should really raise more people.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

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Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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