Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Living life like a goldfish 🐠: where even the tiniest castle feels like a royal palace every six seconds! Talk about a short-term memory with luxury vibes! 👑🤣"

being, castle, every, goldfish, humor, life, live, perspective, simplicity, six, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

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1 month ago

complain, complaint, course, every, humor, manufacture, manufacturer, marriage, mother-in-law, quarrel, relationship, right, wife
Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

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2 months ago

back, change, daylight, daylight saving, earlier, hour, humor, joke, nice, sarcasm, saving, stole, theft, time, year
Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

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2 months ago

humor, idiot, posts, realization, realize, self-deprecation, sense, start, understanding
I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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2 months ago

health, hearing, humor, i, irony, me, mental, mental health, psychiatrist, punchline, self-awareness, told, voices
As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

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2 months ago

before, change, changing, humor, i, irony, password, people, politics, president, same, security
Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

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2 months ago

around, casino, dog, every, finish, food, gestures, gone, hands, humor, i, love, pet, prove, proving, snack, something, time, wave

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

98 shares on Threads this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

36 shares on X this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Breaking via Slack:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just landed via Facebook:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Seen just now on X:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Making waves on Slack:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Making waves on X:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨