Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Going viral on X:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Breaking via WeChat:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Just landed via YouTube:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

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Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.
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Commentary:
"Stepping into the digital world after a long hiatus like a wise hermit emerging from the mountains! 🏔️🧘‍♂️ Time offline is like a reset button for our priorities… and a chance to catch up on all those cat videos! 🐱💻 #BackToReality #OnlineButNotOverwhelmed"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

44 shares on Discord this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

28 shares on Facebook this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Just landed via Twitch:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Making waves on X:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Breaking via WeChat:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

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