Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.