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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Just shared via Instagram:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Just shared via Discord:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Breaking via Messenger:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Live now on Snapchat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

2 months ago

0

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Best friends are like undercover agents willingly exposing themselves to the madness 😜🕵️‍♂️ No matter how many crazy antics you pull, they've got your back – and maybe a straightjacket just in case! 🤪🤝 #FriendshipGoals"

best, best friend, choice, crazy, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, loyalty, public, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

0

2 months ago

crazy, every, exercise, going, health, health tip, humor, person, recommendation, smart, smart person, tip, walk, walks
Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

0

4 months ago

communication, flirting, humor, ragebaiting, relationship, sarcasm
I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

0

5 months ago

age, bed, couple, days, discomfort, injured, injury, me, recovery, sleep, uncomfortable, where
My plan is to die young as late as possible.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young
I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

0

5 months ago

am, crazy, humor, i, LA, life, lifestyle, living, madness, phrase, Spanish, Spanish phrase, vida, wordplay
My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, laundry, left, machine, minute, oh, only, parent, said, sarcasm, teen, timer, washing, washing machine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

99 shares on X this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Trending via Messenger:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Spotted on YouTube:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Going bananas on X:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

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