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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Seen just now on Instagram:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Just landed via Reddit:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

1 month ago

Playful quote about best friends accepting your quirks in public.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Best friends are like undercover agents willingly exposing themselves to the madness 😜🕵️‍♂️ No matter how many crazy antics you pull, they've got your back – and maybe a straightjacket just in case! 🤪🤝 #FriendshipGoals"

best, best friend, choice, crazy, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, loyalty, public, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Trending via Facebook:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Making waves on Slack:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Trending via Snapchat:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Breaking via TikTok:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

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