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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

26 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Trending via Facebook:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Live now on Reddit:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Live now on X:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Trending via Pinterest:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Going viral on Instagram:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

4 months ago

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they took the phrase "gotta catch 'em all" a bit too seriously! 😂🚫 Looks like their relationship was Super Effective against their Pokémon Go friendship! Gotta move on to find that shiny new partner in the tall grass of love! 🌿❤️

bad, blocked, break up, breakup, gaming, Go, humor, me, Pokémon, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

26 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Live now on Discord:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just landed via Twitch:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Freshly posted on X:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Trending via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Spotted on Facebook:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

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