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Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's wife is a total jaw-dropper! 🤭👀 Maybe it's time for a strict "no staircases made of drooling tongues" rule at the next family gathering! 😂💃 Better keep that tongue in line, bro!

bro, case, drop, form, funny observation, humor, jealousy, mouth, observation, relationship, stair, staircase, tongue, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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2 months ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

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2 months ago

biblical, cloud, download, file, humor, man, Moses, pun, tablet, technology, using
Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

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2 months ago

communication, humor, joke, know, morning, sarcasm, telepathy, thinking, thoughts
My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

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2 months ago

appliance, fridge, happiness, humor, life, light, most, people, relationship
So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

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2 months ago

cat, cats, dinner, humor, loneliness, me, neighborhood, relationship, single
The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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2 months ago

10am, eating, even, food, humor, i, lunch, meal, sandwich, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

10 shares on Threads this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

55 shares on X this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Spotted on Telegram:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Making waves on Telegram:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Going viral on Messenger:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Trending via Reddit:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨