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Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's wife is a total jaw-dropper! 🤭👀 Maybe it's time for a strict "no staircases made of drooling tongues" rule at the next family gathering! 😂💃 Better keep that tongue in line, bro!

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

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2 months ago

convenience, drinking, experience, feeling, fun, home, money, night, night out, nothing, pub, sure
I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

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2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drinking, fun, humor, i, irony, meant, much, need, say, self-reflection, stop, thinking
Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

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2 months ago

anyone, bag, bags, cover, else, grocery, grocery bag, humor, i, just, nostalgia, poor, poverty, school, textbook, textbook cover
Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

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5 months ago

affection, apology, communication, dating, feelings, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, liked, much, relationship, sorry, too
Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

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2 months ago

cry, day, easy, girl, guy, humor, relationship, stereotype, text
Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

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2 months ago

approach, babe, convention, dating, flirting, hot, hot babe, humor, line, love, pickup, pickup line, say, street, town, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

31 shares on Threads this month:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

23 shares on Threads this month:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

22 shares on Slack this month:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Going viral on WeChat:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Making waves on Messenger:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Going bananas on Discord:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Live now on Twitch:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨