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Well, it sounds like someone's wife is a total jaw-dropper! 🤭👀 Maybe it's time for a strict "no staircases made of drooling tongues" rule at the next family gathering! 😂💃 Better keep that tongue in line, bro!

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

1 month ago
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The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

1 month ago
cheap, fly, handle, humor, travel
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

1 month ago
back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth
Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

1 month ago
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Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

1 month ago
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What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

1 month ago
date, decay, existentialism, humor, irony, kiss, observation, relationship, romance, society, watching

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

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90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

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Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

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The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

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Making waves on TikTok:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Trending via YouTube:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Trending via Reddit:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

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Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

January is the Monday of the year.

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

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Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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