Commentary:
Coughing like a toddler is my new anti-aging secret 😂👶💨
Funny tongue quotes
Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.
Commentary:
Even after all these years, my tongue and teeth still aren't on speaking terms! 🍽️🤦♂️🤣
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.
Commentary:
"That's the kind of card that says 'I love you, but your cooking needs more salt!' 💌🥄🔥"
What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?
Commentary:
"Imagine getting a surprise 'lick alert' from your AirPods! 🤪👅 Just when you thought they couldn't get any more personalized… Battery low or just feeling extra affectionate? 😂 #AirPodsGoneWild"
Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.
Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's wife is a total jaw-dropper! 🤭👀 Maybe it's time for a strict "no staircases made of drooling tongues" rule at the next family gathering! 😂💃 Better keep that tongue in line, bro!
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.
Commentary:
"The idiot's diet: when you have to bite your tongue to avoid consuming extra calories from saying something stupid. 🤐🍰🍔 #dietsilly #speaklesschewmore"
Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.
Commentary:
Sounds like you hit a home run straight into the Twilight Zone! 😂⚾👽
I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.
Commentary:
This is why I have a constant subscription to honesty! 😄🗣️😜