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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Just landed via Instagram:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Making waves on Instagram:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Breaking via Facebook:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

2 months ago

0

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like your voodoo doll is gearing up for a wild night out! 💸👖 Who knew voodoo could be so stylish and financially savvy at the same time? The only question now is, does the doll need a matching top to complete the look? 🤔😂"

doll, funny request, humor, money, pants, playful, pocket, pop, put, quirky, request, voodoo, voodoo doll

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

0

2 months ago

bite, distraction, eating, entertainment, food, good, humor, i, priorities, procrastination, refuse, single, something, take, TV
The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

0

3 weeks ago

humor, internet, irony, making, me, people, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity
That stupid look on my face is my face.

0

2 months ago

expression, face, humor, sarcastic, self-deprecation, stupid
When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

0

2 months ago

expand, fitness, gaining, getting, hot, humor, just, perspective, self-acceptance, things, warm, weight
I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

0

2 months ago

beard, drawing, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, pictures, seeing, self-awareness, tell, trim
Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

0

4 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, comfortable, dimension, humor, reality, slip, slipping, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Instagram this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Spotted on Messenger:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Going bananas on Discord:

My life is based on a true story.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Going viral on Twitch:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Going viral on Telegram:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Trending via TikTok:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

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