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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Spotted on Telegram:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Just landed via Telegram:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Just shared via Reddit:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Trending via YouTube:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Running on vibes and a questionable understanding of reality 😂🤷‍♂️ #CommitmentGoals"

clueless, committed, humor, self-deprecating, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

2 months ago

always, earlier, early, fate, half, hour, humor, irony, matter, morning, time
Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

5 months ago

couple, enjoy, fun, i, interaction, opinion, social, social interaction, third, third wheel, unpopular, unpopular opinion, wheel
Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

2 months ago

article, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, confirmation, confirmation bias, every, found, humor, i, irony, just, pattern, prophecy, psychology, read, right, self-fulfilling, self-fulfilling prophecy, skepticism, thinking, thinking pattern
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

6 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least
I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

6 months ago

adult, adults, child, freak, got, humor, i, kind, kindness, little, old, old soul, sad, sadness, saying, self-deprecation, soul, think
For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

2 months ago

creativity, day, gift, humor, husband, i, present, relationship, shirt, thought, twice, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

97 shares on Discord this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

18 shares on Discord this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Going viral on Slack:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Just shared via Facebook:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Making waves on TikTok:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Going viral on Slack:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on X:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨