Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Trending via Threads:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Shared recently on Discord:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Trending via Facebook:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Trending via Pinterest:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Just landed via TikTok:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Playful text about being adorably clueless yet dedicated, perfect for a humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Running on vibes and a questionable understanding of reality 😂🤷‍♂️ #CommitmentGoals"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

51 shares on Threads this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Making waves on Reddit:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Going viral on Slack:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Just landed via Instagram:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Spotted on Messenger:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Going viral on YouTube:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Trending via X:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

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