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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Spotted on Slack:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Trending via Pinterest:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Trending via Messenger:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Just landed via Telegram:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.
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Commentary:
"Watching a movie with someone who narrates the entire plot like they're auditioning for an audio book can definitely be a test of patience. 🙄 But hey, when I add my insightful commentary, it's basically like I'm providing a director's cut commentary track! 🍿😂 Who knew my witty jokes could be the secret ingredient to the ultimate movie-watching experience? 🌟📽️ #SnarkyCinephile"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Making waves on Instagram:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Spotted on Threads:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Reported on Twitch:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Breaking via X:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

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