Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Dear nurses, please respect our dignity and save us from the 'Weight Announcement Ceremony'! 🤐😂 Let's keep that number a secret between you, me, and the scale! 😅 #StealthyWeighIn"

announce, closed, embarrassment, eyes, eyes closed, health, honesty, humor, i, just, nurse, scale, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

0

2 months ago

chewing, coworking, distraction, everyone, guy, guys, humor, job, office, office humor, pretty, space, sure, work, workplace
My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

0

5 months ago

hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used
My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

0

2 months ago

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

0

2 months ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, Christmas, finance, getting, gift, holiday, humor, just, looks, money, spending, well, well wish, wish, wishes
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

0

2 months ago

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

48 shares on Discord this month:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Making waves on Discord:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Seen just now on X:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Going viral on Discord:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨