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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2033 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,195

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,195

34 seconds ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Trending via X:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Spotted on YouTube:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Spotted on Facebook:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

6 months ago

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, you're not weird at all! Turning on the TV for background noise is just one way to add a little dramatic flair 📺😄 After all, who needs silence when you can have a soundtrack of sitcom laughter and dramatic plot twists in the background? Keep those TV vibes going, you trendsetter! 📺🎶 #TVBackgroundNoiseGoals

am, background, background noise, comfort, entertainment, habit, i, isolation, just, noise, turn, TV, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2033 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,195

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,195

34 seconds ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Live now on Discord:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Going viral on Discord:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Just shared via Discord:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Live now on Threads:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Breaking via Reddit:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

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