Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.
  • Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
  • Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.
  • I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.
  • Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.
  • Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?