Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

41 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Just landed via Threads:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Just shared via Threads:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Making waves on Reddit:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Making waves on TikTok:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Trending via Threads:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Jan 20, 2025

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't life just the sommelier of chaos! 🍷👔 One moment you're crisp and pristine like a white shirt, and the next thing you know, you're stained with the bold hues of red wine – a fashion faux pas of epic proportions! Here's to navigating the spills and splashes of life with elegance and a handy bottle of stain remover! 💃🍇

color, comparison, ever, frustration, humor, life, metaphor, red, red wine, shirt, spill, white, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

41 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Making waves on Discord:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Trending via Discord:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Reported on Twitch:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Just landed via Messenger:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴