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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Trending via Facebook:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just shared via WeChat:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Making waves on Reddit:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

2 months ago

0

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't life just the sommelier of chaos! 🍷👔 One moment you're crisp and pristine like a white shirt, and the next thing you know, you're stained with the bold hues of red wine – a fashion faux pas of epic proportions! Here's to navigating the spills and splashes of life with elegance and a handy bottle of stain remover! 💃🍇

color, comparison, ever, frustration, humor, life, metaphor, red, red wine, shirt, spill, white, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

0

2 months ago

dosage, health, humor, i, irony, meds, mental, mental health, positivity, raise, still
Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

0

2 months ago

attraction, date, God, humor, level, love, me, oh, point, romance, someone, spontaneity, thought, well
I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

0

2 months ago

anything, avoidance, bring, fight, humor, i, knife, knife fight, need, self-preservation
You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

0

2 months ago

care, confusing, confusion, humor, me, opinion, sarcasm, self-confidence, someone, think, wit
Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

0

2 months ago

actor, asking, cruise, feel, feeling, film, guy, humor, just, movie, question, screen, something, tom, Tom Cruise
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

0

2 months ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

15 shares on Threads this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

22 shares on X this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

28 shares on Slack this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

94 shares on X this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Live now on Reddit:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just landed via Instagram:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Seen just now on Slack:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

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