Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Going viral on Messenger:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Going viral on Telegram:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Making waves on Telegram:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Live now on WeChat:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Spotted on YouTube:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🍎🔮 Looking to order some 'enchanted' apples, are we? Just be careful, you wouldn't want any unexpected side effects! 🧙‍♀️😄"

apples, fairy, fairy tale, humor, i, joke, need, number, request, snow, Snow White, tale, white, witch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

0

2 months ago

finance, humor, investment, IPO, jar, joke, money, soon, swear, swear jar
Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

0

2 months ago

beach, beach body, people, summer, summer body
Having children is a pyramid scheme.

0

2 months ago

children, choice, family, humor, joke, life, life choice, parenting, pyramid, pyramid scheme, responsibility, scheme
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, commuting, conversation, humor, i, me, moment, next, nothing, person, sarcasm, saying, thanks, train, turning
Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

0

2 months ago

ancestral, ancestral petroleum, ancient, beautiful, being, beverage, big, coke, comparison, energy, energy grid, funny comparison, grid, humor, petroleum, soda, Sprite, taste, while
Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

0

2 months ago

around, comfort, comfortable, humor, just, learned, man, phone, psychology, relationship, sleep, through, trust, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

35 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

73 shares on X this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Breaking via Telegram:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Freshly posted on X:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Trending via Facebook:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Making waves on Slack:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨