Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Live now on Messenger:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Trending via Facebook:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Just landed via X:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Live now on Telegram:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Breaking via WeChat:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🍎🔮 Looking to order some 'enchanted' apples, are we? Just be careful, you wouldn't want any unexpected side effects! 🧙‍♀️😄"

apples, fairy, fairy tale, humor, i, joke, need, number, request, snow, Snow White, tale, white, witch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

0

1 month ago

30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works
That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

0

1 month ago

again, blink, blues, feeling, Friday, frustration, humor, lapse, Monday, Monday blues, once, relatable, time, time lapse, weekend, workweek
Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

0

2 months ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us
Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, eat, ever, food, humor, meal, paid, payment, properly, roman, Rome, salt, seasoning, understand, why
Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

0

2 months ago

animal, creativity, fear, humor, imagine, necklace, scary, shark, teeth, tooth
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

0

2 months ago

90, confidence, delusion, humor, mindset, motivation, self-perception, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on TikTok this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Trending via Messenger:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Just landed via YouTube:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Broadcasted on Slack:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going viral on X:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Spotted on Messenger:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨