Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.
  • The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.
  • I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.
  • I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.
  • Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!
  • These aliens are taking forever.