Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Seen just now on X:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"

adaptation, bit, carbs, diet, doing, eating, evolution, exercise, exercising, fitness, human, humor, joke, never, race

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

0

2 months ago

confidentiality, forget, humor, joke, memory, need, post, secret, seen, top-secret
The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

0

2 months ago

after, attitude, bathroom, concern, confidence, drops, embarrassment, even, humor, lion, masculinity, pee, shake, shower, small, sure, urinal
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beauty, behind, every, eyesight, health, humor, iron, issue, issues, low, low iron, poor, tummy, tummy issue, woman
I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

0

2 months ago

actually, beautiful, beauty, empowerment, humor, i, save, self-help, think, yourself
I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

0

2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, entertainment, fun, fun activity, good, movie, recommendation, relationship
It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

0

3 weeks ago

beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

82 shares on Discord this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

88 shares on X this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Making waves on Threads:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Spotted on Messenger:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Live now on Telegram:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Spotted on Telegram:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Trending via TikTok:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨