Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Live now on Instagram:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Going viral on Twitch:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"

adaptation, bit, carbs, diet, doing, eating, evolution, exercise, exercising, fitness, human, humor, joke, never, race

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

0

3 months ago

attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction
When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

0

2 months ago

advice, answer, call, calls, forward, humor, life, new, nothing, past, tell
My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

0

2 months ago

adulting, back, borrowing, favorite, finance, humor, money, myself, paying, paying back, personal, personal finance, self
I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

0

2 months ago

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone
Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

0

2 months ago

challenge, dare, fun, game, home, imagine, party, playing, social, truth
Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, daily, daily life, humor, life, me, night, relatable, sleep, wait, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

96 shares on X this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spotted on Telegram:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Shared recently on Slack:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Broadcasted on X:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Spotted on Instagram:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Seen just now on X:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Just shared via WeChat:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨