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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

โ€œGod has a plan for you!โ€ Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Instagram:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Making waves on Instagram:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Spotted on Snapchat:

โ€œTwister 3โ€ should be told from a cowโ€™s POV.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would be more patient if it didnโ€™t take so long.

Making waves on Twitch:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, thatโ€™s my way of giving back to society.

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!
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Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ›‹๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but donโ€™t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Itโ€™s only a family vacation if you think โ€œWeโ€™re never doing this againโ€ at least once.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

You can tell itโ€™s laundry day because Iโ€™m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Instagram:

ะ†f Empire Strikes Back isnโ€™t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Seen just now on Slack:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Just landed via Twitch:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no oneโ€™s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Trending via X:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just once Iโ€™d like to hear a doctor say, โ€œYour guess is as good as mine.โ€

Spotted on Snapchat:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Just landed via WeChat:

Before I die, Iโ€™m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say โ€œthanks for comingโ€ and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Trending via Twitch:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

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