Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"In case you were wondering, staring at the sun is the new brunch… 🌞 Get your daily dose of vitamin D and a side of temporary blindness! 🕶️😎 Remember, squint now, thank yourself later! 😜 #SunshineJunkie"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

1 month ago

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Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

1 month ago

ask, bills, financial, getting, home, introvert, just, me, money, paid, responsibility, self-care, stay, stay in, worth
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

3 weeks ago

daily, daily struggle, day, exist, existence, fact, humor, i, irritation, least, me, once, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, struggle
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

3 weeks ago

dieting, fat, food, humor, ID, salad, sarcasm, taste, weight
Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

3 weeks ago

always, aspiration, childhood, ever, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, little, retire, wanted
It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

4 weeks ago

another, back, coming, frustration, humor, keeps, mad, return, storm, thing, weather, winter, yelling

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Discord this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Just shared via Slack:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Live now on Discord:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Live now on WeChat:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨