Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"In case you were wondering, staring at the sun is the new brunch… 🌞 Get your daily dose of vitamin D and a side of temporary blindness! 🕶️😎 Remember, squint now, thank yourself later! 😜 #SunshineJunkie"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

0

2 months ago

caution, chat, chatting, funny caution, grocery, grocery store, humorous, humorous warning, interaction, know, people, place, public, public place, social, social interaction, stay, store, vigilance, want, warning
If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

0

2 months ago

activity, deep, deep fried, fair, food, fried, fun, fun activity, humor, novelty, Pokémon, real, satire, state, stick
Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

0

2 months ago

book, events, humor, life, misfortune, nostalgia, remember, series, series of unfortunate events, unfortunate
If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

0

2 months ago

argument, charts, data, humor, i, prepare, prepared, prove, research, run, wrong
Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

0

2 months ago

accurate, acronym, expression, going, humor, humor expression, internet, internet slang, joke, little, lol, SALTS, sarcasm, slang, start, stopped, texting, wit, writing
You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

0

2 months ago

chore, daily, daily life, die, endless, endless task, household, humor, laundry, life, once, task, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Trending via Twitch:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Seen just now on Threads:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Just shared via X:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Just shared via Telegram:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨