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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

46 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Trending via TikTok:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Shared recently on X:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Broadcasted on Discord:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Reported on Twitch:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Reported on Messenger:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Just landed via Twitch:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Shared recently on Telegram:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

5 months ago

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

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Commentary:
"Step aside, world! It's time for some serious overestimation of my importance today 💁‍♂️👑. Who needs humility when you've got confidence in abundance? Fly high, believe in your fabulousness, and remember, the universe revolves around YOU today! 🌎💫 #FeelingExtraSpecial #EgoOnFleek"

confidence, forget, humor, importance, irony, motivation, overestimate, self-esteem, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

46 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Trending via Pinterest:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Reported on WeChat:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Breaking via YouTube:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Breaking via Slack:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Live now on Twitch:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Breaking via Threads:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

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