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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Spotted on Messenger:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Going viral on Threads:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Spotted on Discord:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

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Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.
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Commentary:
"Step aside, world! It's time for some serious overestimation of my importance today 💁‍♂️👑. Who needs humility when you've got confidence in abundance? Fly high, believe in your fabulousness, and remember, the universe revolves around YOU today! 🌎💫 #FeelingExtraSpecial #EgoOnFleek"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

56 shares on Threads this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Trending via X:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Live now on X:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Live now on Messenger:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Making waves on TikTok:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Just shared via Facebook:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

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