Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My favorite color is money.
  • No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.
  • I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?
  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
  • I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.
  • When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.