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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Spotted on Instagram:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Just shared via Telegram:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Just shared via Instagram:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

2 months ago

0

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of accidentally turning your healthy intentions into a delicious sugar-coated surprise! 🥦➡️🍩 Who needs green smoothies when you have a whole bag of donut disguised as veggies? 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HealthyEatingGoneWrong"

buy, diet, disappointment, donut, donuts, food, grocery, hate, home, humor, realize, shopping, surprise, veggie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, confusion, gratitude, humor, i, know, money, people, thank, understand
Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

0

2 months ago

bankruptcy, containers, humor, lid, news, pun, storage, Tupperware
Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

0

2 months ago

beat, better, competition, humor, irony, punch, someone, wordplay
When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

0

2 months ago

50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50
For Halloween, you should be mine.

0

2 months ago

flirtation, Halloween, holiday, love, mine, pun, romantic, should
Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

0

1 month ago

another, bed, behavior, camera, funny behavior, illness, just, level, mental, mental illness, pretend, setting, setup, woke, woke up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

41 shares on Twitch this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,416

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Breaking via TikTok:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Shared recently on Threads:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Trending via Telegram:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Just landed via Threads:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Seen just now on Facebook:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

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