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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Live now on Discord:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Trending via Facebook:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Just landed via Reddit:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Spotted on Messenger:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Earth is hard.

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Earth is hard.
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Commentary:
Trying to nap on Earth is like using a rock as a pillow! 🪨😴🌍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

15 shares on X this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Trending via Discord:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Breaking via X:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

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