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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Breaking via Messenger:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Going viral on Messenger:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Spotted on Facebook:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Seen just now on TikTok:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

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Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.
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Commentary:
"Emotions? Sorry, they're not on my current menu! 🚫😅 Trying to reduce my daily intake of drama and ups-and-downs! Who needs emotions when you've got a strong WiFi signal and a good cup of coffee? ☕️💻 #EmotionallyDetoxing"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

66 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

79 shares on X this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My lips could use some attention today.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Just landed via X:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Going viral on Discord:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

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