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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Going viral on X:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Making waves on WeChat:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

2 months ago

0

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"

cause, even, freddie, freddy, Freddy Krueger, fun, fun loving, guy, horror, humor, krueger, lot, loving, murder, nickname, people, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

0

2 months ago

anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

2 weeks ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, confinement, humanity, humor, irony, sadness, smoker, smokers, terrarium, travel, waiting
The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told
Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

0

2 months ago

artisan, getting, humor, kind, migraine, migraneur, nice, pain, recognition, suffering, term, wordplay
Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

0

2 months ago

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

32 shares on Slack this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

63 shares on Threads this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,267

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just landed via Slack:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Just shared via X:

Tested positive for being single af

Shared recently on Threads:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Spotted on X:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Trending via YouTube:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

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