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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Spotted on Messenger:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Trending via Threads:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Trending via Messenger:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Making waves on X:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Breaking via Reddit:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

1 week ago

Funny quote about relationships, highlighting playful jealousy and friendship with witty humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old tactic of disguising an extra boyfriend as a best friend – a cunning strategy indeed! It's like having a backup plan with benefits. Just make sure your best friend doesn't accidentally receive any love notes meant for your boyfriend!

best, best friend, boyfriend, dating, friend, friendship, girl, humor, relationship, secret

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

60 shares on X this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

65 shares on Instagram this month:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

44 shares on X this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am cassette tape years old.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

50 shades of single.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Trending via Slack:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Live now on Reddit:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Spotted on YouTube:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just landed via Messenger:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Breaking via Messenger:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

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