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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2481 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,643

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,643

22 seconds ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Trending via Telegram:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just landed via Messenger:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Just shared via X:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Jan 27, 2025

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

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Commentary:
"Oh, the tragic tale of birthday expectations crashing down with the force of a thousand unmet wishes! 🎉💔 It's like planning a grand fireworks show only to end up with a single sad sparkler! 🎇😅 Remember, it’s not just about the party hats, but the memories you make…or the hilarious memes that come out of it! 😂🎈"

being, birthday, day, disappointment, ever, every, excited, excitement, expectation, girl, girls, hell, personal, personal hell, too, worst, worst day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2481 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,643

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,643

22 seconds ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Shared recently on Facebook:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Reported on TikTok:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

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