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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Breaking via X:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Going viral on Slack:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Just landed via WeChat:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Spotted on YouTube:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality 😂🍭💊 #PainPoppingPEZ"

antics, candy, dispenser, humor, ibuprofen, medicine, pain, pain relief, PEZ, quirky, relief, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

1 month ago
draft, Eager, eagerness, everyone, humor, military, military time, phone, time
I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

1 month ago
clarity, communication, explain, humor, i, much, over-explainer, personality, self-awareness, things, too
I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

1 month ago
asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks
They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

1 month ago
actually, combat, cute, fitness, girly, humor, perception, Pilates, portray, thing, training
My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

2 months ago
arms, bed, exercise, humor, hurt, laziness, pain, reading, workout
“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

1 month ago
20, activity, book, books, comparison, humor, i, media, nothing, quantity, read, reading, social, social media, tweet, Tweets, year

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Spotted on Discord:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Going viral on WeChat:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

I’m tired of things costing money.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Having a job ruined my life.

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

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Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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