Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Just landed via X:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Trending via Threads:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality 😂🍭💊 #PainPoppingPEZ"

antics, candy, dispenser, humor, ibuprofen, medicine, pain, pain relief, PEZ, quirky, relief, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

0

2 months ago

clumsiness, falling, grace, gracefully, head, humor, mastery, practice, repetition
Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, always, am, humor, i, joke, old, older, sarcasm, wit
I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

0

5 months ago

1955, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time
So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

0

2 months ago

annoying, connection, humor, i, life, meet, meeting, need, new, new people, order, past, past life, people, socializing
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

0

2 months ago

action, day, every, Facebook, fix, humor, media, social, social media, stupid, watch
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

0

2 months ago

cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

54 shares on X this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Breaking via Twitch:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Live now on Telegram:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨