Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Just landed via Discord:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Just landed via Instagram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality 😂🍭💊 #PainPoppingPEZ"

antics, candy, dispenser, humor, ibuprofen, medicine, pain, pain relief, PEZ, quirky, relief, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, blocked, blocked nose, breathing, having, health, humor, irony, life, nose, perspective, things
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

0

5 months ago

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young
You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

0

2 months ago

activity, always, aquarium, date, dating, dating signs, fun, fun activity, going, man, museum, new, new relationship, outing, relationship, signs, someone, tell
I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, humor, i, irony, kids, lifestyle, mom, no kids, parenting, stay-at-home, stay-at-home mom
How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

0

2 months ago

anticipation, day, disappointment, expectation, family, fun, humor, time, travel, vacation
One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, life, older, reflection, still, today, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Spreading quickly via X:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Spotted on Messenger:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Going viral on X:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Spotted on X:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Seen just now on X:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨