Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
First caveman to see fire: "Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs" 🔥👀 *stomps it out* "and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that." 😂🦴 #NotAFanOfInnovation

ancient, bullshit, caveman, ever, evolution, fire, humor, i, last, misunderstanding, needs, prediction, reaction, skepticism, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

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2 months ago

apology, debt, humor, i, joke, left, me, money, past, responsibility, sorry
I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

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5 months ago

avoid, avoidance, camera, club, depends, humor, i, life, nightlife
Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

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2 months ago

assumption, bold, climb, die, energy, even, hill, humor, i, laziness, sarcasm, struggle
If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

0

2 months ago

face, humor, i, outlaw, poster, unwanted, west, wild, Wild West
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

0

2 months ago

black, exercise, fashion, fitness, humor, i, joke, slimming, style, wear
You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

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2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, earbud, humor, just, loss, never, nostalgia, own, ownership, relationship, technology, time, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a day off from myself.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

100 shares on X this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Live now on Threads:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Just shared via Telegram:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Spotted on WeChat:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Just landed via Instagram:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Making waves on Threads:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨