Commentary:
"Imagine haunting people for eternity looking all creased and trying to straighten yourself out… 👻🛏️ Talk about a boo-humbug situation! Just ghostly things, I guess! 😂"
29 Funny afterlife quotes
Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?
Commentary:
"Maybe in heaven, lazy people get chauffeured around in fluffy clouds, sitting back and enjoying the scenic route 🚙☁️😇 After all, why walk when you can float? 🤔😄"
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.
Commentary:
"Well, it's all fun and games until you end up in heaven's customer service line requesting to speak to the manager… 🌥️👼🏼🙅🏻♂️ #PerksOfAfterlife"
If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.
Commentary:
"Who knew family game night could get so 'heated'?! 🔥♟️ Imagine the suspense as grandma's turn approaches, and everyone is anxiously waiting for her to make her move… literally! ⏳😄 Don't worry about 'running out of time' to spend with loved ones, just flip the hourglass! 🕰️🎲"
I’m going to hell in every religion.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's collecting passport stamps to every hell around the world! 🔥🌏🔥 Remember, variety is the spice of damnation! 😈 #WorldTourOfHells"
I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.
Commentary:
"Now that's what I call eternal connection! 👻💻 Who says the afterlife can't have great download speeds, right? #WiFiForever"
“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.
Commentary:
"Finally hitting the snooze button for eternity 💤⏰ Who says you can't sleep in peace? 🪦😴 #RestInEternalSnooze"
So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.
Commentary:
Trying to nail my audition for heaven, but I keep taking extended coffee breaks like it's my day job 😅☕️👼🔥
Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.
Commentary:
Earth's out, I'm booking a one-way ticket to Planet Calmdownia next time! 🚀🌌😅