12 funny picked quotes - Wordgag

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Apr 1, 2026

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Mar 31, 2026

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Mar 31, 2026

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Mar 26, 2026

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Mar 26, 2026

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Mar 26, 2026

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Mar 25, 2026

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Mar 24, 2026

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Mar 23, 2026

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Mar 23, 2026

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Mar 22, 2026

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Mar 22, 2026