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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Just shared via Reddit:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Trending via Threads:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Breaking via Reddit:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Making waves on Threads:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

71 shares on X this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

98 shares on X this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Farting, but with eye contact.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss you (the money I spent).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Making waves on X:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Going viral on Pinterest:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

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