Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Spotted on Reddit:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Trending via Telegram:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Funny baby cow quotes

New funny baby cow quotes 👇

All funny baby cow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

84 shares on Threads this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Making waves on Discord:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Shared recently on Slack:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Going bananas on Reddit:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Spotted on TikTok:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴