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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

3 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,710

Funny Quotes Topics

15,369

Funny Quotes Images

12,710

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Live now on YouTube:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Live now on Facebook:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Spotted on Threads:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

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Funny biological weapon quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

3 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,710

Funny Quotes Topics

15,369

Funny Quotes Images

12,710

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Spotted on YouTube:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Just shared via YouTube:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Just shared via Messenger:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Trending via Twitch:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

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