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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Just landed via Discord:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Making waves on WeChat:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Shared recently on Discord:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Just landed via Twitch:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Spotted on Reddit:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Breaking via Slack:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Trending via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Trending via Threads:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

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