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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Breaking via TikTok:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Just shared via YouTube:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Going viral on YouTube:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Trending via Messenger:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Just shared via Discord:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Making waves on X:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

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