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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Trending via Twitch:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Going viral on Reddit:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Reported on TikTok:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Just landed via Threads:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Seen just now on X:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Broadcasted on X:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

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