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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Spotted on WeChat:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Just landed via Instagram:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Spotted on Threads:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Spotted on YouTube:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Making waves on Slack:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Spotted on Pinterest:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Funny childless adult quotes

New funny childless adult quotes 👇

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

3 weeks ago

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All funny childless adult quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Going viral on Reddit:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just shared via Messenger:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Trending via Twitch:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Going viral on WeChat:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny childless adult quotes

New funny childless adult quotes 👇

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

All funny childless adult quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨