Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Just shared via TikTok:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Going viral on X:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Just shared via Slack:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Trending via X:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Funny clips quotes

Funny clips quotes bring the LOLs 😆 and good vibes only 🎉! Whether you’re binge-watching or need a quick mood boost, these witty one-liners and hilarious moments are pure comedy gold 💬✨. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your feed, get ready to laugh out loud and brighten your day with the funniest gems from your favorite clips 🎥😂!

New funny clips quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

77 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Spotted on Messenger:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Just landed via Threads:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

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