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Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

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15,236

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12,556

23 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Just shared via YouTube:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Making waves on Messenger:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Trending via Twitch:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Making waves on TikTok:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Trending via Facebook:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Home » Funny Contradictions Quotes

Funny contradictions quotes

New funny contradictions quotes 👇

Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Commentary:
Ah, the classic parental food paradox – a culinary rollercoaster ride! 🎢🍽️ Is it a trap? A test? Who knows! Just remember, parental love comes in mysterious (and sometimes contradictory) packages. Enjoy the food journey, my friends! 😄🥘 #ParentalFoodWisdom

For even more funny contradictions quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny contradictions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

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15,236

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12,556

23 minutes ago

3,441

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Live now on YouTube:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Going viral on Telegram:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Spotted on Discord:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Going viral on Slack:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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