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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Nov 27, 2025

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Just shared via X:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Trending via Pinterest:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Spotted on TikTok:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Spotted on Messenger:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Live now on Slack:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Home » Funny Cracked Quotes

Funny cracked quotes

New funny cracked quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of true friendship – where they see your quirks and flaws, yet still choose to stick around and make omelettes with you. Who needs perfection when you've got someone who appreciates your scrambled self?"

cracked, egg, friend, friendship, good, good egg, humor, loyalty, support

All funny cracked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Nov 27, 2025

3,775

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Going viral on Twitch:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Just shared via Facebook:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

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