20 funny egg quotes - Wordgag

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

May 29, 2026

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

May 28, 2026

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

May 27, 2026

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

May 26, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

May 26, 2026

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

May 25, 2026

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

May 25, 2026

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

May 25, 2026

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

May 25, 2026

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

May 24, 2026

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

May 24, 2026

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

May 23, 2026

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

May 23, 2026

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

May 22, 2026

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

May 22, 2026

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

May 22, 2026

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

May 21, 2026

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

May 21, 2026

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

May 20, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

May 19, 2026