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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Spotted on Slack:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

508 Funny dating quotes

Funny dating quotes add a playful twist to the often unpredictable world of romance! 💘😂 From humorous takes on first dates to witty observations about dating adventures, these quotes capture the lighter side of finding love. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the comedy in your dating journey! 😄💕

New funny dating quotes 👇

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

3 weeks ago

app, apps, dating, dating app, deleted, game, gamer, gaming, humor, life, love, online, online dating, ready, relationship, romance, video, video game, warcraft, world, World of Warcraft
If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

3 weeks ago

break, break up, commitment, dating, enough, give, humor, love, marriage, married, never, persistence, person, relationship, same, times
I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

3 weeks ago

anxiety, boyfriend, date, dating, dating anxiety, expectation, found, humor, i, just, life, love, relationship, sick, single, single life, social, social expectation, stomach
Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

3 weeks ago

actually, communication, dating, easy, humor, insult, relationship, relationships, retard, simplicity
If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

3 weeks ago

age, age gap, dating, every, gap, humor, lesbian, older, older woman, ones, relationship, woman, women, younger, younger woman
Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

3 weeks ago

babe, believe, dating, excuse, humor, i, lie, me, media, political, politics, porn, porn star, relationship, social, social media, star, views
Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

3 weeks ago

cheater, culture, dating, filled, hook-up, hook-up culture, marry, modern, modern dating, relationship, situationship, world
Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

3 weeks ago

app, convenience, dating, dating app, humor, nearby, people, printer, sharing, technology, Tinder
To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

3 weeks ago

beautiful, dating, entertainment, happiness, happy, humor, man, need, relationship, replace, screen, screen time, simply, time, woman, women
One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

3 weeks ago

amazing, back, communication, connection, dating, day, humor, just, meet, misunderstanding, person, relationship, text, texting

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

84 shares on X this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

41 shares on X this month:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Making waves on YouTube:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Just landed via Discord:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Spotted on Instagram:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

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