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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Making waves on Messenger:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Making waves on Messenger:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just shared via Threads:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Going viral on YouTube:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Trending via Twitch:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Live now on Facebook:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes

323 Funny dating quotes

Funny dating quotes add a playful twist to the often unpredictable world of romance! 💘😂 From humorous takes on first dates to witty observations about dating adventures, these quotes capture the lighter side of finding love. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the comedy in your dating journey! 😄💕

New funny dating quotes 👇

10 hours ago
Share →: People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Commentary:
I've got a hook, line, and sinker for that elusive salmon, but they keep ghosting me for the deep blue! 🎣🐟😂
3 days ago
Share →: If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Commentary:
Guess I need to turn up my bestfriending game—time to start planning a fake romantic getaway! 😂👫💕
5 days ago
Share →: I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Commentary:
Relationship goals: synchronizing our eye rolls 😆🙄❤️
7 days ago
Share →: If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Commentary:
Sounds like a fire-breathing bedtime story is part of the nightly routine! 🐉🔥😴
7 days ago
Share →: Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Commentary:
When "hahaha" becomes your personal cupid repellent 😂💌
1 week ago
Share →: Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Commentary:
Guess I'm in for a long wait at the deutsche telekom, hoping the call doesn't end with a "Nein!" 📞😅 #LostInTranslation
1 week ago
Share →: “You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Commentary:
Finally found the secret to happiness: fewer texts and more snacks! 😂🍕📵
1 week ago
Share →: Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Commentary:
When you realize their Netflix password was the real prize all along 🎬🔑😆
1 week ago
Share →: The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Commentary:
Talk about a 50 shades of grey matter situation 😂🧠❤️
1 week ago
Share →: That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Commentary:
When "so we done?" is your relationship's reset button 🤣🔄❤️

For even more funny dating quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Spotted on Reddit:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Just landed via Messenger:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Spotted on Twitch:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Making waves on Twitch:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

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