509 funny dating quotes - Wordgag

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

May 30, 2026

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

May 30, 2026

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

May 30, 2026

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

May 30, 2026

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

May 30, 2026

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

May 30, 2026

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

May 30, 2026

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

May 30, 2026

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

May 30, 2026

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

May 30, 2026

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

May 30, 2026

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

May 30, 2026

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

May 30, 2026

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

May 30, 2026

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

May 30, 2026

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

May 30, 2026May 30, 2026

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

May 30, 2026

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

May 30, 2026

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

May 30, 2026

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

May 30, 2026

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

May 30, 2026

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

May 30, 2026

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

May 30, 2026

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

May 30, 2026

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

May 30, 2026

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

May 30, 2026

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

May 30, 2026

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

May 30, 2026

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

May 30, 2026

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

May 30, 2026

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

May 30, 2026

Not participating in humiliation rituals, such as job interviews or modern dating.

May 29, 2026

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

May 29, 2026

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

May 29, 2026

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

May 29, 2026

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

May 29, 2026

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

May 29, 2026

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

May 29, 2026

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

May 29, 2026

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

May 29, 2026