Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Tested positive for being single af

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Don’t hate me, date me!

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.