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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

4 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Making waves on TikTok:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Just shared via Threads:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Trending via TikTok:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Live now on X:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Home » Funny Delegate Quotes

Funny delegate quotes

New funny delegate quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of procrastination disguised as strategic delegation 🙌. Talk about a masterful dodge of responsibility! Future you better watch out, present you is throwing all the tasks their way with a sly smile 😏. Bravo on passing the hot potato, future self! 🥔⏰ #ProcrastinationQueen"

For even more funny delegate quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny delegate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

4 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Going viral on Messenger:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Shared recently on Threads:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Just shared via Instagram:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Spotted on Telegram:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Going viral on TikTok:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

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