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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Just landed via Facebook:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Just shared via Threads:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Just landed via TikTok:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Making waves on Discord:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore, I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Just shared via YouTube:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Just shared via YouTube:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Trending via TikTok:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Making waves on Discord:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

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