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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Going viral on YouTube:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via TikTok:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Funny Egyptian quotes

Funny Egyptian quotes bring ancient wisdom with a hilarious twist 🏺😂! From clever pharaoh puns to witty Nile-inspired jokes, these gems will make you smile like a Sphinx 😄🐫. Get ready to dive into a world where history meets humor, proving that even the pyramids have a funny bone 🏜️🤣. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day Egyptian style! 🌞✨

New funny Egyptian quotes 👇

All funny Egyptian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

38 shares on Discord this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is an abusement park.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Just landed via Threads:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear music, thanks!

Making waves on Telegram:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Spotted on Facebook:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Going viral on X:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just shared via Instagram:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

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