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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just shared via Instagram:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Going viral on WeChat:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Breaking via Slack:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Trending via Reddit:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Just shared via Telegram:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Spotted on Discord:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Going viral on Telegram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Reported on Facebook:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Spotted on Discord:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Making waves on Twitch:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

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