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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Spotted on YouTube:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Trending via Snapchat:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Breaking via Instagram:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Live now on YouTube:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Just landed via Discord:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Breaking via YouTube:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Just landed via TikTok:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Shared recently on Slack:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

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